A Heartbeat Away From Tuesday

It seems that some sub-prime mortgage holders who are losing their homes and some American voters unfortunately have a great deal in common. Both groups have been eager to figuratively sign the dotted line for something they may not have carefully thought through. Both have been manipulated and persuaded to do something that ultimately could cause them and the whole country great difficulty.

We all know the sub-prime story by now. Big name mortgage bankers and high rolling financial giants roared along in recent years with very little oversight. Mathematicians created convoluted, complex mortgage “products” few people could understand, and slick agents sold them like cotton candy to unwitting fiscal diabetics. Folks lined up to buy quarter-million dollar homes for nothing down and low monthly payments. Few bothered to read the fine print. Lots of folks who already had huge credit card debt were already primed for the sub-prime sweets. And then one morning everyone woke up from the dream and started screaming, asking how this could have happened.

This coming Tuesday as we vote for a new American president and vice president there will be many voters who haven’t read the fine print about John McCain and his frighteningly unqualified vice presidential choice, Sarah Palin. Barak Obama’s supporters have gathered by the hundreds of thousands across America to hear his positive message and detailed plans for our future and have made an informed and enthusiastic decision to vote for him.

In addition to loyal hard core conservatives, many other Americans are going to vote for the the McCain ticket and just hope for the best. Period. The big mortgage wheeler dealers fudged the truth and promised great things, all with no oversight and no one calling their hand as they peddled their flawed mortgages. McCain’s “Straight Talk” has not been straight at all. In his campaign’s waning days his vague promises and negative attacks change from campaign stop to campaign stop. Repeated media debunking of his wild claims and negative attacks have not stopped him from shamelessly aspursing them week after week as if they were true. Lots of folks actually believe the endless fantastic, false information spread about Obama. Or they certainly want to believe it, just like folks with no money wanted to believe they could own a huge expensive house with no money down.

One last time, for the good of America, we should seriously consider the points below before casting our votes Tuesday:

Seventy-two-year-old Senator McCain has successfully held back from the public a complete look at his medical records that could reveal the current state of his third remission for deadly melanoma cancer. We need to know for sure if he if fit and healthy. Is he hiding something?

Senator McCain’s record shows that in spite of what he says, he will, in the end, bow to the old guard Republican “base” and will continue Bush’s ruinous fiscal policies.

Sarah Palin, McCain’s chosen Vice Presidential candidate, has cynically refused to produce any of her medical records. This intellectually void, power hungry and dismally uninformed lightweight would become president of the United States should Senator McCain become incapacitated or die.

This is not buy-one-get-one-free, folks. Political foreclosure on America with Sarah Palin in charge is too grim to even imagine. But a vote for the McCain ticket includes that possibility. Better stop and read not only the fine print but the already glaring large print before voting Republican.

Dubya: Texas Tried To Warn Us

I think the best state magazine in America is Texas Monthly. As a native Texan living away from South Texas for decades, my annual subscription to TM has been a lifeline to my deep Texas roots. The July, 2000 issue should have been required reading for all registered voters in America. The cover, seen at left, asked the question about the then Texas Governor, "Is George W. Smart After All?"
Senior Executive Editor, Paul Burka's article was titled, "Yes, And He Can Win'" A follow-on article, "But You'll Be Sorry!" contained personal observations about Bush from six noted Texas politicians and political analysts. Former Texas Governor, Ann "Ma" Richards, who was beaten by the young George W. in 1994, wrote,

“To his credit, George Bush is a disciplined campaigner. He stays on message . . . He seemingly does not tire of saying the same thing over and over and over again. If you ask me what time it is, I’m likely to tell you about the history of timekeeping and clock making . . . . If you ask George Bush what time it is, he’ll say, ‘I think Americans have the right to bear arms.’"

Jim Hightower, former agricultural commissioner, predicted Bush would lose, listing his observations about the cocky young candidate.

“One, the smirk. This is not a facial tic. This is from within. It reflects a spoiled brat’s sense of entitlement and a mean streak that we’ve seen flare up. I think that Bush’s sense of privilege is going to grow real tiresome real fast. The more you get to know him, the less you get to like him."

Hightower continued this pure Texas diatribe,

“Two, deep down, this guy is shallow. His one hundred experts and fundraisers and media handlers and powderers and puffers have done a good job so far of keeping his shallowness under cover."

“Three, he is a corporate wet dream, a loyal performer for the fat cats who’ve put money in him. If the voters and the media focus on the favors he has done for rich people, they’ll see Bush for what he really is: a hired hand for corporate interests. That’s not what the general public wants its president to be.”

Hightower had Bush nailed, but his prediction was wrong. Americans unwittingly elected W. anyway by the thinnest of voter margins . . . votes cast by the Supreme Court.

Prophetic stuff. Problem is that it has taken eight years for too many Americans to finally discover all this for themselves. John McCain is frantically trying to replace George Bush in a last minute game of political Whack-a-Mole. McCain keeps popping up, learning new lines, yelling, "My friends!" throwing out last-minute non-Bush economic promises. But what about McCain's hapless hockey mom, who would be next in line as president? Even NASCAR GOP abductees must be thinking that over.

Queen for a Day . . . or Two

Less than a dozen days till the presidential election. A fiction writer couldn’t have come up with the political plot changes of the past two months. I will be glad when something else dominates the news but for now the down-to-the-wire dynamics of this presidential race still offer a smorgasbord of story possibilities. For instance, imagine fiction writer coming up with a U.S. presidential candidate calling a break from campaigning a dozen days before election day. But, indeed, Barak Obama left the campaign trail for two days and flew to visit his critically ill grandmother in Hawaii. It was a last visit with the beloved woman who guided his early life. He then jetted back to the mainland to resume campaigning.

In Obama’s absence, the McCain-Palin campaign continued to self-implode. Headlines focus not upon their constantly changing message, but upon details of fleshed-out GOP campaign financial filings with the Federal Election Commission. The Republican National Committee has already lavished $150,000 for luxury shopping sprees to clothe America’s Hockey Mom and her tag-along family. RNC campaign cash for Mrs. Palin still gushes forth. The New York Times reports a dazzling new GOP tab and it’s a beauty. The top salary paid in the first half of October was not to a McCain campaign strategy Guru, but to a makeup artist. The two week stipend for the haute blush-dauber was $22,800 just to dandy up the Hockey Mom’s face for the bright lights of arena halls and news photogs. Queen Nefertiti should have looked so good. Her hairdo was a bargain basement deal with the Cindy-McCain-recommended California salon stylist being paid only ten grand, reported by the RNC as “Communication Consulting” for those two weeks. The GOP is making up Sarah Palin but The NY Times is not making up anything. And America is getting the message.

The faithful right wing voter base still overlooks McCain’s increasingly frequent senior moment gaffes, but his VP choice has gone beyond the Pale in the minds of huge numbers of the faithful. Coughing up that much donated cash to doll up a dud with more than lipstick has struck a nerve with decided as well as undecided voters.

McCain's Maverick Moment . . .

Want a final reality check if you are still an undecided voter? Imagine Senator McCain, as seen in the video below, addressing a rally in western Pennsylvania. Imagine him becoming equally flustered when having to deal with the little black bag and the nuclear weapon codes . . . Wonder how many more of these have been happening when the cameras weren't rolling?

Sarah: The Big Alaskan Snow Job . . .

Sarah Louise, as she would be called if she was a Southern girl, is real easy to look at. A great talker too, an animated, articulate beauty queen. Sarah Palin's good looks and personality, plus her huge drive for power and control have made her mayor of a small town in Alaska and ultimately the Governor of that state for the past 22 months. Now she could possibly be Vice President of the USA. It is time for a voter reality check list. Would you vote for any Vice Presidential candidate who:

*Was plucked from relative obscurity and offered as a candidate less than two months before you are to vote, and who refused to release any medical records whatsoever?

*Who has been cloistered from the press except for a couple of national interviews which showed embarrassing ignorance of basic facts, a clueless inability to answer even softball questions and who thinks the Vice President, "Runs the Senate?"

*Who has recently been judged by bipartisan peers to have abused power as a State Governor and who is under continuing investigation for alleged petty and personal pressuring of underlings and other actions?

*A person about whom you really know nothing at all except the carefully orchestrated campaign hoopla and that he or she can easily reel off lies, half truths and the nastiest rabid fear mongering character assassination in recent Republican history?

*A mother of five children, with three of them still adolescents and one of those a Down Syndrome baby who demands extra special parental care?

*A fundamentalist, glossolalia speaking Pentecostal, whose teen aged daughter will be giving birth to an illegitimate child unless a rushed up wedding can be planned right after the election? Would it dare be a White House wedding if the the candidate won?

Now, imagine the Veep and her oilfield worker hubby, who lacks a college degree, in the real world of white tie state dinners making small talk with learned dignitaries and leaders from around the world. Eight years of one socially inept moron has caused enough international cringing wouldn’t you think?

Senator McCain’s desperate, cynical selection of Sarah Palin should be reason enough to run like you had seen a pink snake if asked to vote Republican. But as a final test, take McCain and Palin’s own campaign key words and hold them both up to those claims. If you think they pass then go to the polls with a clear conscience:

. . .Transparency - Leadership - Responsible Change - Ready on Day One . . .

Ready to vote now?

Why is McCain Stonewalling?

There are only a couple of weeks before we vote for a new president. Americans deserve to see the current medical records of both candidates before making up their minds. Senator McCain still refuses to provide his current medical records. Senator Obama fully complied just a few months ago, undergoing a complete medical checkup. His publicly available records describe Obama as “in excellent health, lean and muscular with no excess body fat.” Senator Biden released a current update, Monday, Oct. 20th, and appears in good health for a guy his age. Sarah Palin, has released no medical information on herself whatsoever.

In McCain’s U.S. Navy aircraft carrier flying days, passing a flight medical exam was easy for him. But as we get older it can become harder to pass that annual flight physical. I am only a few years younger than Sen. McCain and am a private pilot, so I know all about having a "current medical." I am in decent health but am not "current." McCain is tough. But it is also tough to imagine being shot out of the air by an enemy missile, surviving a bail-out with broken bones, then enduring five and a half years of torture as a POW some 41 years ago and today being in a third remission from melanoma cancer. All that could certainly make getting a clean bill of health tougher, but not impossible. I have several pilot buddies McCain's age who are "current" and still having a dandy time flying. But none are running for president.

Remember why the pilot and co-pilot on commercial airliners eat different in-flight meals off the menu? If one meal is tainted, like bad tuna salad, both pilots don't become incapacitated, leaving one to fly and land the plane safely. But we are not talking about toxic tuna salad here. And we are not talking about United Airlines. We're talking about the United States, with John McCain as our possible president and his VP candidate, Sarah Palin, as our potential co-pilot. Showing us all he has a clean bill of health would clearly help the 72 year old McCain's faltering campaign right now. It's fair enough to ask why he doesn't. Ms. Palin's lungs do seem to be in tip top condition, but that's all we have been permitted to know about her state of physical health.

While McCain invokes his discredited folk hero, “Joe the Plumber” and Palin whips up “the base” with her nasal, hate-tinged talking points, the noise they are making still can not drown out that basic question in voters’ minds, “Is candidate McCain healthy enough to take over an America which has just lost power in its engines and is flying in a fog of uncertainty? And what about his co-pilot?”

Joe the Plumber's Butt in a Crack

Overnight celebrity, Joe "The Plumber" Wurtzelbacher, of Toledo, Ohio, initially flush with fame, isn't holding up too well under the harsh media glare the day after the final presidential debate. When first interviewed after the debate Joe became a verbal Roto-Rooter as the cameras rolled, calling Obama a "Socialist" and saying his tax plan "infuriated him." The press went plumb crazy. John McCain invoked "Joe the Plumber" 21 times last night. McCain's "average Joe" was used as a verbal club which he repeatedly used to try to clobber Barak Obama. At a recent campaign stop, Joe asked Obama a question about taxes on a plumbing business he was "planning on buying." With no more detail than Joe provided, Obama gave a very general answer about small businesses making more than $250,000 dollars a year, and indicated the possibility of a tax increase. McCain's campaign adopted angry Joe using him to attack Obama's tax plan, claiming it would destroy America's small businesses, ad nauseam. Today tax experts said that under Obama's plan, Joe would, in fact, not pay higher taxes and might even get a tax break when figuring actual taxable earnings.

Journalists soon started doing some background checking on Joe. First of all, Joe has never been a licensed plumber or contractor, which is a requirement in the City of Toledo. He has never even formally apprenticed as a plumber. Joe has never belonged to Columbus plumber's local 189 as he supposedly claimed on his internet facebook page, and more details are coming to light hourly. Joe's concern about paying more taxes becomes clearer with reported findings that he already has problems paying what he owes. He is reported to have had two liens against him of more than $1,000. One of them, a personal lien from 2007, he reportedly still has not paid. Seems McCain's vetting of Joe, his folk hero de jour, was no better than the vetting of his ill advised VP choice, Sarah Palin.

Details or facts have not been of much interest to Senator McCain lately as he grimaces his way forward, trying to score a last cheap political point. Before using Joe Wurtzelbacher as a catch basin for his campaign's hogwash he might have checked the drain before it overflowed all over them.

Trick or Treat Palin Rescues Economy!

Orders for the Sarah Palin full-face latex Halloween mask have caused a major upswing in the volatile US flash-in-the-pan futures market. President Bush will reportedly go on national TV this week to announce that the tax boost from Palin mask sales is easing the national credit crunch. Costume Kingdom in Tarzana, California is offering the "full face, hand painted latex mask," seen at left, for $29.95. Buyers are urged to "get them before they are gone." Smart marketers, these Tarzana folks. They remember the Pet Rock fad of the 1970's, and how short lived it was after the novelty wore off. Palin and Pet Rocks have lots in common. Palin was imported from distant Alaska. The equally dense rocks were brought in from a beach in distant Baja California, Mexico. The six month run on Pet Rocks made their creator a millionaire. The Political Mask Market, symbol PMM, sees huge Halloween cash inflows. This has created a stir on Wall Street because anything that could potentially last even one month is more promising than anything they have going right now. PMM market comparison figures show existing Obama and McCain plastic masks are holding steady at $15.95, with George W. Bush and Hillary masks going for only $7.95 from Costume Kingdom on the West Coast. Anytime Costumes on Long Island, New York only has a photograph on their web site of a clay mold used to make the Palin mask but they are taking orders nonetheless. The clay mold is at least more solid than any of the promises we have heard from the White house or Wall street so far.

The Old Emperor Penguin

Penguins have several distinguishing traits. They have an urgent waddle and repeat the same determined behaviors year after year. They also sometimes get way off track and become lost. Hundreds of wayward Magellanic penguins wound up in balmy Northern Brazil after straying almost a thousand miles off course. After being rescued, fed and cared for, they were returned to their normal habitat this past weekend. Brazil accomplished the penguin bailout with no help from congress or the taxpayers. "We had to learn how to work with them," said Carlos Garcia, a spokesman for IBAMA, the Brazilian Institute for Environment and Renewable Resources." (You can't make up this kind of stuff )

Last night's town hall debate really showcased Senator McCain's inner penguin. He had a pronounced forward-leaning waddle as he urgently repeated "My Friends" dozens of times to the selected audience, before spewing barely believable negatives about his opponent. IBAMA was not there to rescue Sen. McPenguin and send him back to the comfort of his accustomed millionaire habitat. OBAMA, a rescuer of a more familiar sort, showed his humane side by basically ignoring the old bird as he waddled and squawked. The applause had not died at the end of the ninety minute bird watch and McPenguin had already done a fast waddle off stage. He didn't even wave bye with one of his vestigial wings. OBAMA remained and continued his conversation with audience members. Next Wednesday night there will be a final chance for Audubon enthusiasts to again glimpse the almost extinct McPenguin . . . if he doesn't get so far to the right that he misses New York entirely.


IBAMA on CNN

The Dulling Down of America

Two more debates to go before the November presidential election. Political TV spots have become a dull, nagging roar. Viewers long ago learned to tune out most TV commercials, especially ones detailing the many medical side-effects of prescription drugs. While we watch a lust-filled couple walk off arm in arm for a jump in the sack, all made possible by a pill that raises sagging fortunes, we are simultaneously warned not to take the pill if any of a list of dire things happen including, god forbid, an erection lasting more than four hours. A truly schizophrenic message.

Night after night the 60 second medicine shows continue. We see pretty, happy, people taking pills that now let them clip flowers, run along the edge of the beach, and stare deeply into each another’s eyes, but the voice-over simultaneously warns of horrible side effects like vomiting, diarrhea, loss of consciousness, flatulence, jaundice and other unappetizing dinner hour images.

Americans have allowed these disturbing mixed messages into their homes without complaint, simply tuning out what they don’t want to see or hear. Political commercials have very little credibility or effectiveness today, and none offer a warning about elections lasting longer than 4 lifetimes. Some can cause vomiting, but again, there is no warning. Lies and out-of-context claims delivered in a Nancy Grace-style snarling voice-over are combined with jarring music and this is supposed to attract your vote. It has become a juvenile school lot shouting match and, indeed, invites one to tune it all out.

The two remaining live debates offer a last chance for a real candid exchange of ideas by McCain and Obama, and for listeners to submit their own questions in the Tuesday October 7th town hall style debate. Many will still only hear what they want to hear and will tune out the rest just as they do every other night as they watch TV. Maybe the debates should end with McCain, a grin on his face, running in slow motion down a beach into the sunset.

Voting for the Pony Show

Last night’s Vice Presidential debate between Senator Joe Biden and Alaska State Governor Sarah Palin wasn’t really a debate at all. Folks were mostly waiting to see if Ms. Palin would continue to display her dismal lack of basic knowledge about current affairs. Direct questions about American government, her running partner’s record, foreign affairs and even names of newspapers she reads have made her draw embarrassing blanks in recent limited live news interviews. Fortunately, the debate format allowed her to smile, ramble and gesture her way past the moderator’s general questions by just simply not answering them. Her well coached, folksy barrage of rehearsed talking points allowed her to hammer together mismatched topics and construct verbal Potemkin villages around her. Causal viewers wanting her to do well were probably happy with her repeated winks at the camera, pointing pistol finger gestures, and folksy circumlocution. After all, Minister Potempkin fooled Empress Catherine II with his handiwork.

The rookie small town politician shamelessly “corrected” senior Senator Biden on several occasions with her prepared rattle of talking points. Biden, ever the statesman, didn’t dignify her sophomoric attempts except a couple of times when he had to slowly and clearly run down a list of well known facts that deflated and debunked her flimsy attempts, including why McCain is simply not a “maverick.” During Biden’s thoughtful and knowledgeable presentation of his points and plans, Palin stared down at the her podium desperately scanning her talking point reminder notes to try to fill the her growing intellectual vacuum.

At the end of ninety minutes, sighs of relief could be heard from the GOP faithful. She had not committed any serious gaffes and was still smiling and perky! But nothing had really changed. Like a trained pony, she had made it around the ring. She jumped, pranced, performed just like she had been rehearsed and didn’t crap in the ring. Her ninety minute presence, more than anything, served to again display John McCain’s utter cynicism and political expediency in selecting such a lightweight flash in the pan to try to bail out his flagging campaign. Now we will wait to see how many Americans genuinely would willingly vote for a slick pony show.

America the Duped?

If you aren’t frightened for your country right now, you should be. In a couple of months Americans could be led again, like compliant sheep, into electing another George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, but with even worse consequences. How are Americans so easily lulled and duped? Seems it doesn’t take much. American Indians knew all about it. A proverb attributed to the Cherokee says it well,

"Tell me facts and I may remember them. Tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever."

In 2000, and 2004, it was storytelling time. George W. Bush was marketed not unlike a prime time dog food commercial. He already had a familiar presidential name. Great stories were repeated over and over about his supposed accomplishments, and qualifications. His spoiled rich playboy past, problems with alcoholism, basically unspectacular work history, and lackluster accomplishments were carefully downplayed or blanked out. But you never actually see the dog food being made in their commercials either.

But it was enough for Bush, with the help of The Supreme Court to barely prevail over Vice President Al Gore. In 2004, the storytelling with a boost from 9/11 again prevailed, fending off Senator John Kerry in spite of Bush’s already dismal track record. Now in 2008 the Republicans offer aging, confused Senator McCain as president and a last minute unknown female rookie Governor from Alaska, with a closet crowded with skeletons as Vice President. That is frightening on its face.

Big time Republican storytelling has frantically been going on. Outright lies about Senator Obama, repeated shamelessly over and over. The story trumping fact and reason. Is it working? NY Times columnist, Nicholas D. Kristof, reports that, “A Pew Research Center survey released a few days ago found that only half of Americans correctly know that Mr. Obama is a Christian. More ominously, a rising share — now 16 percent — say they aren’t sure about his religion because they’ve heard “different things” about it.”

“Different things . . .” Like the tongue clucking of a gossipy old aunt. Doubt, rumor, toss in a dash of racism and Americans themselves could once again fall for the tactics and misdirection of entrenched self-serving cynics. Are you frightened yet? Frightened enough to physically get out there and fight the stories?

A Quick Look at “Female Voters”

Let me tip toe out into a minefield and talk about “Female Voters.” You hear both ‘female voters’ and ‘women voters.’ Women’s Liberation must have sounded better than Female Liberation. Women's Lib is easier to say. Female's lib might sound too anatomical.

I'm already in trouble here, but I have to ask about all those energized women, screaming and chanting for Hillary night after night during the primary. Were they motivated by her message or were they just enchanted by Hillary the female candidate? Would those same women now be as easily enchanted by the cute, tough talking, last minute Republican selection for Vice President, just because she is a woman?

The GOP is trying to attract “disaffected Hillary supporters.” How can we believe that the cheering, almost rabid women we saw in the close-up TV shots at the Hillary rallies would suddenly become disaffected because a man won the Democratic nomination rather than a woman? Isn't it cynical to suggest that they were cheering only because they were women, and that now any woman with a shot near the top, would as easily become their heroine? Ditch your principals as a Democrat and vote for the clueless moose mommie! She's a Woman! The McCain campaign managers are giving it a shot.

In Denver, Palin praised the hard work of Hillary and her “18 million cracks in the glass ceiling,” then she uttered, “But it turns out the women of America aren’t finished yet and we can shatter that glass ceiling once and for all!” Women who would vote their lingering gender anger to spite their own well being can’t represent a meaningful number. But McCain will take every vote he can get, especially the deluded and the disaffected.

Political Science?

There are rumors that a medical and political first may happen before the upcoming political debates begin. The boost McCain’s flagging campaign got from his improbable selection of Sarah Palin as his VP is now fading. So a new even weirder plan is being hatched. Confidential sources tell The iHandbill that McCain and Palin are to undergo elective surgery to medically join them at the hip with double velcro patches. Dr. Frank N. Stein promises benefit for them both in the coming debates with Senators Obama and Biden. Dr. Stein says the detachable hip connector will share their bile production and other selected abilities through a small incision. Each hip will have small connectors that can be plugged together or unplugged with the velcro patch. Medical insiders report that the surgery runs no risk of rejection because they both share A-negative blood lust. Palin’s radio and TV studies at one of the several colleges she attended will help Senator McCain in reading a teleprompter. Her access to McCain’s repository of decades of political experience, knowledge of history, geography and Washington D.C. would make Palin to seem like she actually knows stuff. Precautions include a former Rove staffer dressed as an adoring fan who would “accidentally” bump into them, disconnecting them in case McCain starts speaking in tongues, or Palin starts telling off-color fighter pilot jokes.
Reportedly Palin will only be allowed to debate while connected to McCain, and will be kept in an undisclosed location while unplugged. Biden would be labeled a liberal elitist whiner if he complained about having McCain plugged in during the VP debate with Palin. McCain will not need to read a teleprompter during his debates so there would be no reason for him to remain connected to Palin. In fact, remaining connected might make him do Palin's cutsie eye blinking, and real mavericks don't blink.

Cosmetics over Substance

Just as easily as the GOP McCain campaign spinmeisters crank out their outright lies and distortions, they also feign outrage and insult. Senator Obama's recent use of the old political chestnut, "putting lipstick on a pig," was snatched immediately by the McCain spinning circle and denounced as an outrageous reference to their Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah Palin. Their press release machine overheated as they bellowed. They reacted so wildly because cosmetics are the stock in trade for McCain's campaign folks. It was after all, McCain's speechwriters who introduced labial makeup in Ms. Palin's speech with the "lip gloss" and pit bull reference. A quick bit of research shows that the idea of putting lipstick on anything didn't happen before about 1880 when the word lipstick first shows up. But it has shown up on pigs, donkeys, frogs and other things since then in references by politicians of all stripes.
A classic definition of the expression is generally, "A term used by many, generally in reference to someone who may be trying to make something or someone look appealing or attractive when it quite clearly will not work, or will only deceive the dumbest of people."
Had that been applied to Ms. Palin it actually would have been quite appropriate. But Senator Obama was not talking about her at all. He was talking about the total Republican failure to lead this country the past 8 years and the mess they have left. A mess that the Grand Old Party has been steadily smearing with lipstick to try to gloss over its ugliness. We should, instead, be seriously talking about how to get this great country out of the mess it is in, which the Democrats have been doing for months and months. Instead the Republicans continue to lob schoolyard epithets, praise God and Country, and crank up their smoke machines. They are doing everything possible to not even mention Bush or Cheney or any specific ways they are going to throw the runaway GOP greed train into reverse. Glossing over glaring shortcomings of the train's engineer and conductor by using Republican Revlon just increases the chances for a major American train wreck.

Photo from Information Week's July 24, 2006 Cover

Vice Presidents We Have Known

The nomination of Sarah Palin as Vice President, a virtual political unknown with little experience, is being beautifully stage managed. Americans must have short memories when it comes to embarrassing and incompetent GOP VP candidates. Republican campaign management has gotten dirtier and louder than ever because they have specialized in selling their lackluster candidates with slogans and spin better defined as outright lies. They not only got W. elected, but are now stuck with the disaster he and his Vice President have caused. They learned lots about spin and damage control from another light-weight Vice President, James Danforth Quayle. His selection by George H. W. Bush caused an immediate controversy. The media, in 1988 were mostly mainstream broadcast and print publications. There were no internet bloggers and no round the clock cable channels with prattling pundits to minutely dissect Quayle's glaring tattered edges. The media did jump on questions concerning young Dan's military service, a Florida golf trip he took with a female lobbyist, and the question of his experience to be VEEP. But daddy Bush won and Quayle became VP #44 and immediately became a non-stop string of embarrassments.
Today Republicans have learned to control and limit access to their intellectual lightweights, keeping George W. Bush's gaffes under the radar as much as possible. Now they have to do something with Ms. Palin who was presented with calculated fanfare and given a handful of old re-sharpened GOP darts to toss as she read her prepared speech full of sound and fury signifying nothing . . . except that she is going to have a tough time in a serious interview. But the campaign has now sent her back to the frozen north “to take care of family and state government matters” making her unavailable for interviews except for one interview on ABC, and Charlie Gibson has to be nice. Meanwhile like a goose being stuffed with a feeding funnel to become eventual pate’ Palin is being force fed answers to possible questions and coached on hail Mary plays in case someone asks her about world politics, social issues or anything else requiring an informed answer.
We survived Quayle because George H.W. Bush was in good health and kept his court idiot at arm's length for four years. Senator McCain’s health and state of mind at age 72 plus his sad political prostitution of once admired stands and challenges to his party make him a sorry choice to lead our country. The cynicism of the GOP in selecting an inexperienced but opportunistic female for the VP spot and then marketing her like premium dog food with designer glasses is the worst yet. They can't keep her hidden till November.

Vote for me and I PROMISE!

Well, John McCain promised last night to “end partisan rancor.” It is about time. Kissing and making up. Gee, I am so glad he’s finally going to do that. At last we are going to do a 180 turn and salvage the Republican disaster of the past almost 8 years. Of course time limitations must have prevented Senator McCain from mentioning just how he was going to do anything or from offering plans or concrete ideas, but what great promises! It will all be just swell. Hell they may even redesign the two chambers on Capitol Hill and do away with aisles altogether. Open seating anywhere in the chamber!
Lots of listings in the Thesaurus for rancor: “bitterness, spite, hate, hatred, resentment, malice, ill will, malevolence, animosity, antipathy, enmity, hostility, acrimony, venom, vitriol.” I guess that kind of stuff just builds up over time like dust in a closed up house. But now the old fellow says he is going to get all the angry, smug, selfish screaming and jeering folks who have been assembled this past week to lambast Democrats, and particularly Democratic Presidential Nominee Barak Obama, to do an about face while having the Democrats all turn and smile and forgive as well. Helluva promise. And what a surprise just a day after bitterness, spite, hate, hatred, resentment, malice, ill will, malevolence, animosity, antipathy, enmity, hostility, acrimony, venom, and vitriol spewed forth as his hand chosen book-burner hockey mom read the Karl Rovesque crafted words of the speech that scrolled before her on the teleprompter. There was a hint of surreal déjà vu as if we were again watching George W. Bush making the same bipartisan promise almost eight years ago as he slowly morphed into a stooped, white haired and tired nice old guy before the same audience. Damned shame McCain hadn’t made his astounding promise that morning. It might have stopped the almost 400 point slide on the Dow Jones index.

Restoring America's Image Abroad?

What a speech last night. I watched till the smoke alarm in my house went off. What had been written for Annie Oakley from Alaska to read was done justice with Ms. Palin's curled lip sneers, petty jabs, and straight-faced recitations of long discredited claims about Barak Obama and his past. There was a stunning contrast between the TV images from this convention and from the Democratic convention last week. Last week's reactions to speakers and particularly Biden and Obama were spontaneous and genuine. Lots of time was spent by the Democrats listening to Obama's detailed messages and plans for needed positive change instead of screaming hysterically non-stop. Last night the shamelessly orchestrated spectacle had the the more spry folks applauding after every God and Country bromide that the GOP audience seemed to lap up like old hound dogs at a huge feeding bowl. There clearly had been claques of carefully tutored "starters" who tried to begin "Spontaneous Chants" that mostly fizzled out, and who started applause after every other sentence. But after a while it was like watching an old badly dubbed Japanese movie where the audio and video are out of sync. There would be loud applause coming out of the speaker, but the wide shot of the crowd showed so many, many people talking, walking around or sitting stone faced. In her whole reading of the teleprompter, Governor Palin, Or Governor Putin, you choose, never mentioned any issues, but just heaped on repetitive praise for John McCain. A high point was the real long feel good visit with her large family, including her snowmobile racing champion husband of "Ute ancestry." There will be a "halo" effect from her nastiness and hollow rhetoric for a day or so, then reality will settle in, and the "Media Elite" she renounced will come a knocking asking real questions and expecting real answers. America can do better than this.

Hurricane Gomer Update

Hurricane Gustaf merely glanced off The iHandbill offices. We were fortunate. Much more so than three years ago when Katrina ripped a roof off and left us with no electricity, which meant no air conditioning for two weeks in the suffocating September heat and humidity. Photos and TV of hurricane Katrina in 2005 and for its aftermath, was beamed into every home on TV and onto newspaper pages around the whole world. “Heckuva job Brownie!” became one of many albatrosses to flock around young cocky George W. Bush’s neck, hanging there not too far from “Mission Accomplished.”
Emergency agencies on state and local levels were finally given massive IV’s of restorative manna from The Department of Homeland Security. Federal, state and local bureaucracies expanded exponentially and the mere utterance of “state of emergency” or “disaster area” now automatically sets off the huge Federal slot machine “fund” jackpot.
Now we are bracing for two more potential hurricanes coming into the Gulf of Mexico. I am personally also bracing for the jarring pre-recorded auto-dial mass hurricane warning telephone calls to coastal Mississippi Counties, paid for by the new hurricane jackpot funds. Answering the phone, I heard a voice like GOD having a bad day, “Thissis Haleeee Barbour and I stronglee advize thet yew . . .” First one I got a year or so ago woke me from a sound nap about 3:30 in the afternoon. I thought Gomer Pyle was calling from some distant place and hung up. But the calls continued and sure nuff, not a weather or emergency expert’s voice but THE GOVERNOR hisseff had recorded the voice of doom warnings. Poor Haley does the good old boy routine to the hilt here at home with a syrupy, haughty drawl that only someone from Hot Coffee, Mississippi could love. He tones it down in the Beltway lobbyist offices I am told. He really does sound like the Gomer Pyle character. Got lots of these calls this year for everything that had winds over 40MPH regardless of where they were. Tropical Storm Pam generated three days of the nap-time calls from Haley before drenching Florida. Tried to get off the call list, since I have the Weather Channel and great computer links to great weather sites, but I was told by the call center that the governor, “ . . . wuz jist tryin to save yur liife!” Well bless his little pea-picking political heart. At least I speak Mississippi, along with a couple of other foreign languages just in case one of the calls might be remotely helpful.

Photo Rogelio V. Solis / AP

Reading from the Teleprompter

I watched some very brief moments of the Gathering Of Pomposity (GOP) convention this evening during the breaks in a Dirty Harry movie I was watching. But during one of the brief channel flicks off the movie I had to stop for a few seconds longer as Fred Thompson, jowls flattened by his lowered chin as he read his speech from the teleprompter, lauded the selection of the Lady Palin as another of their champions as VEEP. At first I thought it was the lighting, but his nose was growing almost imperceptibly. Nah. Sure, it was really bad, hyped BS he was trying to read convincingly, but Pinocchio? He feigned enthusiasm as he addressed the gathered matrons, and stern faced gentlemen in the noticeably older convention crowd than the crowd at the one last week. During the next Dirty Harry break, I flipped back and he was still extolling the hoped for virtues and toughness of the "Hockey Mom," and damn, it wasn't the lighting. His nose had grown almost an inch. A cutaway shot of the Gathered Old People (GOP) showed Barbara Bush leaning over to whisper to her husband. The expression on her face was one of smug defiance and belief in the power of dynasty. I couldn't click back to any more of the Griping Old Pukes (GOP) because Eastwood was finishing Magnum Force with a bang, which I doubted the other TV program would do. I look forward to reading the columns tomorrow, but remain frightened for America that there were that many people in that building. To Thompson's credit as he moved back stage, I am told by insiders, he did allow a union stage hand to saw off the new growth of nose and sand it off then a nice union makeup lady dabbed a little Tan #2 Max Factor on the shiny stub and he jumped into the waiting limo like nothing at all had happened. And as far as reality is concerned, it hadn't.